Dating over 40: dating tips & advice for single men and women

dating over 40

Updates: 02/17/2015

For most people, especially women, dating in their 40s or 50s is nowhere near as easy as when they are 25. Actually, relationships built in their 40s, 50s and beyond are far more fulfilling than any they had in their earlier years. To find these good relationships, they have to be a different dater than they were in their earlier years. The following dating tips and advice for dating over 40 for single men and women on VKool will set up you for successful “grownup” dating and lead you to that person who will be your loving partner in the second part of your own life.

I. Dating Over 40 – Online Dating Tips For Women 

dating over 40

For women, let’s face it, meeting men is difficult, particularly if you are over 40. You are not meeting men at work or in clubs or bars anymore.

If you have been avoid dating online as your think that it is just for 20 years old, then you need to think once again. In fact, dating sites report that their quickest growing segment is those over 40 and 50. There are literally a large number of men over 40 and 50 online. If you want to be one good at dating over 40, you should do a little extra work by reading through these following tips:

1. Be The Boss

dating over 40

This tip does not mean you should be bossy. This means you need to be in control of your experience. Online dating can open you up to a thousand possibilities, and it is a new way of meeting people. Just simply make a few decisions and set some personal guidelines about how you want to integrate it into your current life. How many hours will you be willing to spend each day? What things could you do to protect your physical as well as emotional well-being when talking to and meeting people? What you could do to be a successful dater? When the time goes on, you will likely tweak some of these decisions.

2. Be Clear 

dating over 40

You are online, yet your goal is to really meet men, right? It is shown that one of the most complaints of men is that women tend to post pictures that are rather out of date. Do not do it. You had better post lovely but current pictures. It is a waste of time to do otherwise. Be clear about what you are looking for. It does not matter whether you are looking for a life partner or a hook-up, just be honest with the guy you meet. There are men out there looking for lifetime partners or hook-ups. Therefore, if you are honest about your demands, you will be more likely to find your man with the same goals. However, there is no need to scream it, yet weave it into your online profile.

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3. Consider A Makeover 

dating over 40

Just answer this question: when is the last time you updated your look? If you want to increase your chance of dating over 40, you need to do a makeover. Do this as much about looking good for a man as it is about feeling good for yourself. In reality, a confident woman taking care of herself and looking healthy is really a man magnet.

Recommend reading: how to be more attractive

4. Check Your Own Beliefs 

dating over 40

That means you should not drag your nasty divorce, money troubles or last case of gout into the conversation. Also, do not drag in all of those decisions and beliefs you made 20 years ago. The person you are today is not the one who dated way back. Review your checklist now. Consider what your current definition of “perfect man” and what he have to do or not do to get in order to get the next date. It is crucial to take time to ground yourself in who you really are and what you actually want in your life today.

II. Dating Over 40 – Tips And Advice For Men And Women And Men

1. Be Mature

dating over 40

Among tips on dating over 40, this very first one might be the most important. For ladies at 40 or older, the relationship they are seeking is a mature relationship, so they should act like it, similar to the man. This is not all about the crush or flirting techniques. It is serious. Yet, that does not mean you should not flirt though, or should not play some games to make dating experience more interesting, but you always want to be mature about it.

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2. Have Courage 

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When it comes to dating, it might take courage to meet someone for a first coffee date. And, be mindful that there will be the possibility that your date will leave after just 10 minutes and explain that he is not attracted to you. Nevertheless, it says more about him than you. Oftentimes, about half of the first dates do not result in a second. Therefore, you should have the courage for keeping putting yourself out there once you are clear about what you want in a special man in your own life again.

Check out: tips on calling men

3. Evaluate Your Own Assets

dating over 40

You might not think you are attractive, yet the definition of attractiveness varies with the person. In reality, some men find a dazzling smile trumps several additional pounds while other find an hour-glass figure or long legs outshine several wrinkles. Thus, it is necessary for you to discover your assets. Dress well. Get a makeover at the nearby department store. It might take other people to see the assets that we mistakenly call liabilities.

4. Keep Your Attitude Of Adventure

dating over 40

Similar to hunting a treasure, you will never know when or where you will uncover such a prized gem. Fact is, it might be easy to get discouraged. Yet, by dating over 40, you are learning a lot about the opposite gender, yourself, and what you really want along the way. Like an explorer, you are going to find tons of dead ends. Nevertheless, once you are committed to your goal of finding a new lifetime partner, you could not give up. You will be amazed at how having an adventuresome spirit will be alluring to many men.

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5. Be In The Real World 

dating over 40

Did you know that one of the most common and biggest problems that many women have after their young age is that they still want someone who will be God-like in their personality as well as looks. As a woman, you should not settle for someone who is not your type, yet also have to be realistic in what you want and who can adapt it out there.

6. Be Yourself 

dating over 40

This tip for dating over 40 seems to be heard so many times before, yet if you still find yourself acting weird on a date, then you have not been heeding this warning. Bear in mind that the other person is nervous too. It is totally natural. Meeting a stranger could make anyone uncomfortable. By acting naturally and feeling relaxed, you could help the other person do the same.

7. Be Interesting

dating over 40

Do not talk to your date about how long it has been since you have been with a date. Men will not want to talk to you for long if you are negative or have nothing to talk about. Also, if you think you do not have anything personally interesting to say, find topics to say based on something going on where you are. If you are at the bar, then talk about the crazy drunk chick trying to sing karaoke.

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8. Use Your Early Dating Experience

dating over 40

At the age of 40 or beyond, you can still use your dating experience in young ages, but in a proper way. Whether you went through a messy divorce or have had a long-term relationship and are ready for the next relationship, you might have great dating experience.

It is fine to memorize things you have learned in your past relationships, but you should make sure that you are taking the right stuff with you. Do not make assumptions like “It happened before and thus must occur again”. This could impact negatively your dating if you are not equipped with a clean slate before jumping into the dating pool.

9. Be Attractive

dating over 40

It is not necessary for you to be attractive like an actress in the mainstream media sense of the world. Just show them that you really care about how you look. Being attractive originates from simple things in your daily life. Do not go out to dinner in your pajamas. Pay attention to your hair. It does not take much to show the other person that you care about your appearance.

10. Be Honest 

dating over 40

Try to be honest about what you are currently looking for. It does not matter whether you are looking for a hook-up or a life partner, just be honest with the person you meet. If you are a woman, there are a lot of men out there who are looking for those life partners or hook-ups. Because of the multitude of amazing men just waiting to meet you, do not find yourself compromising  for someone you think is “almost good enough.” By being honest about your purpose of dating, then you will be able to find the right man with the similar goals.

You can create a list of characteristics and qualities that you are looking for in a man. Make sure that you check people off your potential list as they are missing something like “dress well all day long” or “cooks like a master chef.” This is what actually matters if you want to spend the rest part of your own life with someone.

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11. Get Yourself Out There

dating over 40

Have you ever thought about dating online? Well, guess what? One out of every four individuals who are in a committed relationship or married met their significant other on an online dating site.

Just keep in mind that there are a variety of good relationship-ready men who will be interested in you, yet you need to meet them initially. By that way, you will be able to make new friends easily. A common way to make acquainted is to join in a Meet up, begin a new fitness program or create an online dating profile. Besides, hanging out at a bar all nights in a week? That is not a good idea, after all. So, get active outside and online.

12. Love Yourself

dating over 40

In order to build the most sustainable, realistic relationship in the age of 40 or beyond, you should spend 20 minutes today on thinking about what makes you unique and fantastic and what you need to change. Give yourself the permission to be able to brag. I bet that you will find a lovely lady hiding behind the muck other people feed you.

13. Have Fun 

dating over 40

Do not stop having fun even when you are old. Fact is, you are old when you stop having fun. A lot of women might get their self-conscious about their current age when it comes to dating. Nevertheless, the old saying, “you are young as you feel” is really true. Right now, get out and have fun. You will be surprised at how many men will be naturally attracted to the energy you have.

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14. Acknowledge Your Responsibility

dating over 40

At the age of your 40s, or 50s, you are mature and most likely steer your ship in every area of your own life. The thought of blaming on men seems no longer to be able to serve you recent days. Begin making great decisions and also taking care of basic areas of your life like weigh options. You might be doing this each day with your family, career. So, handling with men is also not an exception.

15. Live In The Real World

dating over 40

At the later years of the human life, you or your date will not have a full head of beautiful hair, no baggage or a muscular body. Thus, it is the time for you to live in the right world, right at this current moment – not the ideal person of your 18 years old.

16. Take Your Relationship Slow

dating over 40

Unlikely dating in the early years of the human life, dating over 40 means that you will meet adult men or women who are similar to you, have several old, not good “stuff” to dig through, are multifaceted, and might lived full of twists and turns. When you are re-learning how to date in your 40s, it is necessary for you to keep in mind that you should be taking everything slower. You should not rush into a serious relationship, and obviously, in turn, rush into a marriage, that will not really work. Remember, taking things slower allows you more time to get to know your date carefully, day by day.

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17. Watch Your Baggage

dating over 40

Health issues, failed marriages, adult children, or other significant problems in your life – these affect your relationship in many ways. These topics will quickly send you into the potentially negative and unflattering discussion. These could be shared, yet in the spirit of moving the best foot forward, it is not necessary to be dragging these in the early stages of your dating.

18. Lighten Up

dating over 40

When you were young, you took the whole dating rather seriously. According to a survey, when thinking back on it, the majority of women said that the end goal was to get married and have a happy family. Now, at their 40s, they do not actually worry about getting married again. Rather than, they see the relationships as interesting journeys.

19. Set Expectation Highs

dating over 40

In your 40s, your expectations of an ideal dater should not be similar to yours in the early years of your life. They should be set a little higher. Actually, you want someone that is stable and someone that will be there for you, no matter what. You also want someone that is built and someone that has a good career. Remember that!

20. Dump The Anger

dating over 40

If you are a woman, most of men you will meet are not those jerks that you used to meet and date in the past. Similar to you, they learned a lot over the time. So, do not treat them like the guys who dumped you, or cheated on you. Besides, do not assume that he just wants sex, or just a dumb piece of arm candy.

Though it is rather natural to bring your past into your present, it is going to help you a lot if you can dump the anger. Every guy you meet is unique. Just give him an opportunity by being kind and open until he supplies you with a reason to be otherwise.

The dating tips and advice for dating over 40 should be considered and applied in proper ways depending on your own situations. If you have any idea contributing to this “Dating Over 40” article or other relationship advice presented in Vkool.com, leave your words below to let us know your thoughts. We will reply all soon.

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