Shame starts when we feel that we are alone, or separate from others. Two kinds of shame are: guilt and embarrassment, whatever they are, we want to remove it! Here are some easy steps that make you curious about and want to discover how to overcome shame quickly.
1. Take Deep Breaths:
If you have a shame, breathe deeply and down. It will help you avoid some actions that could add to your shame such as saying or doing something unnecessarily. You may want to know how to overcome shame in this situation? So simple! Just take a minute to calm yourself down, and relax.
2. Grieve Your Shame:
When we feel bad, or do something wrong, and feel that we have no reason to exist, or even be respected, shame comes. A shame can be another type of sadness, but everything will be worse. If you continue to deny, dominate and try to avoid that feeling, you will continue to be suffered. If you want to be free, happy, and enjoy your life fully, you need to get rid of the feelings are buried in your heart. You also can cry to release your feelings if there are some shames hurt you in the past.
In fact, shame comes from the lack of confidence, so if you want to overcome shame, firstly, you need to learn how to be confident. I recommend you these 3 useful e-books and articles that will help you gain confidence effectively: 45confidence building tips, social anxiety solutions, and quantum confidence system.
3. Stop Shaming Or Comparing You With Other People:
Some people have a habit of comparing or shaming themselves to others. They tell others that they are dull, stupid, foolish, goof for nothing, or hopeless, etc instead of being empathetic or satisfied with themselves. All can make mistakes or failures that are okay! If you continue shaming or comparing with other people, it will debase you and unknowingly create a distance with others. How to overcome shame? The answer is that you must assess yourself highly!
4. Respond To Those Who Try To Make You Feel Ashamed:
When someone tries to make you feel ashamed about something of yourself, reply them quickly and certainly! The way that you reply shows your confidence and then, they have to consider their critical comments about you. They may ask themselves if they are wrong or even feel ashamed!
5. Connect With Our Core Value:
Sometimes we are too sensitive and often attracted by judge, criticism of others. As a result, that is often difficult for us to realize our core values that we still have. Connect with our core value is the best way in how to overcome shame tips. Don’t ignore your value and forget who you are! Maybe you are not good as someone else, but you are the one in the world with your own value.
6. Remember, You Are At Present! All of our shames occurred in the past.
Theoretically, if you were able to stay and enjoy every moment of present, you will don’t have the feeling of shame. Because these feelings come into your brain depend on different times and places, then, try to enjoy your life at present! Realizing that you are being present is almost impossible when something comes into your brain and says that: “You can’t trust anything! You are so stupid!” It is the physiological symptoms of embarrassment, but if you can remember that you are in the present only and pay attention to present, you will win! Sometimes, the secret of how to overcome shame just very simple.
7. Allow Yourself To Tilt:
According to a recent study, shame belongs to the disorder known as perfectionism. So, think about it! You are ashamed because you didn’t live up to your standards (I mean your true value). Perhaps there is a difference between your expectations and your performance. Sometime, you need to fool pull the wool over your eyes into thinking that you are fixed. When you are in a messy, let think that “How things will be happened if I’m an expert?” If you never allow some tilting, you will fall over.
8. Laugh About It:
Another way to overcome shame that laugh about it. If you are shamed in front of other people, show others that it was a joke. Claim to others that it never happened to you. Just laugh and say “That’s funny!” They will acknowledge that you didn’t consider their saying seriously and they will stop doing things like this because you didn’t respond with the way that they want you to. What they want? They want you be suffered by their sayings. In fact, you manage to react as if you were not suffered. And, all of these really depend on what you’re ashamed about.
9. Improve Your Awareness:
Improving your awareness is the most important thing that you need to do when learning how to overcome shame. Try to be more aware of something happening around you. Sometimes, you always don’t care about everything, change! Remember that you don’t be too upset about it. People who laugh at you will probably do something similar. Just laugh with them and don’t take it seriously if you don’t want they remember the same things for a longer period of time. Enjoy your life and don’t let it interfere to your happiness.
10. Think About Your Problem Carefully:
When you go back to your own room, take a moment to think about your problem. You may think about how and why did this happen. You always don’t care about it? And then, think about how to correct your problem. All of us make mistakes. The way that you react with them reflects you, not your mistakes! How to overcome shame may take a long time, but may take a moment, all bases on your choice!
11. Don’t Make A Bad Imagine Of Yourself:
The worst thing to do when you have a shame is creating a huge spectacle about it. When an ashamed moment happens, never get resist, shriek, shout, run away with tears on your chink, or cry loudly in public. The bigger imagine you make on at that time, will be embedded in other’s memory. If you act skillfully, people will forget the things that have just happened.
12. Talk To Someone You Trust:
Get loose some of the burden instead of keeping in your mind. The best choice is your best friends or family. Share with them your feeling. Listen to them. They may tell you that situation is not your fault or that you have made some amends for your mistakes.
13. Evaluate The Issue Without Considering Your Shame:
Refuse your thinking of highly-charged emotion from your mistakes. Take a clear awareness of the situation without considering your shame. Allow yourself the opportunity to restart and make a plan for moving forward.
14. Remember, You Are Who You Want To Be:
When come of age, many of us still are ashamed because of the negative comments of others. It means they have put a label on you and you have been effected by this. The matters are not what others say about you, or even what you think about you (even may be worse than the reality), but what you say to yourself. As a result, the labels you place on yourself decide what you will become. So, what do you want to be in your life? And what label that you put on yourself? It’s time to decide!
15. Everyone Has A Shame!
Remember that everyone has a shame. So let your mind relaxes and don’t think too negatively about yourself like you’re a clown or a fool. Think positive things. Never let your mind stress by such negative thoughts!
16. Take Small Steps:
Take small steps to reclaiming that you are confident in the area of your life that makes you ashamed. Doing new things that make you feel better and proud of yourself. If you can’t forgive for yourself, why others can? When you have forgiven yourself, let the shame go away!
17. Learn From It!
Maybe you’ve been ashamed, but consider it as a lesson and learn something from it. Did you have a bad result in your exam? Did you fall in front up your crush in your physical education lesson? Avoid wearing high heels. Did you pass out while giving a speech? Learn how to calm yourself down before doing an action. All of things that you have been experienced have a lesson that can be learned from, including your shame. Learn it now! And you will not be ashamed about it again.
18. Be Willing To Change How You See Yourself:
You may think that you were poor, ugly, unlucky, or not as good as someone else, it doesn’t matter! Change the way you see yourself! You often have trend to see yourself in the way that others see you. For example, if you think that others see you with negative things because you are ashamed, foolish and stupid, you are also! It will never happen if you think you are smart, funny, intelligent, lovely, kind and enthusiastic! How you see yourself is how people see yourself, too. Your life is wonderful, so try to love yourself and your life.
19. Move On:
Last but not least, move on. The secret of how to overcome shame is keeping your enthusiasm! When you are willing to forget your shame moment, others will too. Go ahead; your life is waiting for you! Don’t give up wonderful things because of your shame moments! How to overcome shame really easy!
You can also read blushing breakthrough to get more knowledge on how to stop blushing and be confident again.
These are some tips to help you overcome shame quickly. Perhaps you have different tips but I think some tips above are the most suitable for all of you.
Let me know if you have any comments about it!