Of course, we all know how hard it is to overcome a breakup. It might be harder for those ex lovers become friends. If you want to learn how to be friends with an ex boyfriend or girlfriend, then the followings are what you need to know. Take a look from VKool.com!
How To Be Friends With An Ex – 9 Easy Tips To Try
1. Recognize That Not All Exes Are Right Friend Material
There are a lot of reasons for not becoming friends with an ex boyfriend/girlfriend. He might still have his heart set on your – in such case, hanging out with him as a mere friend is cruel. The opposite might be true. If you still love him, you will set yourself up for disappointment. Eventually, your breakup might have been due to something so serious that it is almost impossible to see each other without resentment. If either of you has been hurt deeply, you should give each other a wide distance.
Even when he is emotionally stable and calm, and the history of your relationships does not include any gaping wounds; you still may not want to see your ex once again. In fact, exes do not necessarily have to be friends.
2. Make Sure That Both Of You Are Happy To Remain The Friendship
Your want of building a friendship with an ex will not become real if your partner wants to be isolated for a while, feels the demand to ignore the other. This step is definitely crucial. Whilst this is an emotional time, it is crucial for you to make sure that both of you are happy to become friends.
3. Get Distance
Remember that you could not break up and then go out for coffee as friends the next day, or even the next week, or next month. Both of you need distance first. Get your life back on track initially, and this life could not contain that one individual who was once at the forefront of everything for a period.
It is necessary for you to spend time on healing and crying, analyzing and mourning. It is brutal, painful process yet it is a must. Before reaching out to your ex, you must learn how to be happy and how to live without the presence of that person.
4. Forgive And Forget
If you still have anger, hurt feelings, resentment, and questions which are still unanswered, you should let your ex know before taking the first step and reaching out. Whether your ex gives you the answers that you want to hear or not, you should forgive and forget and force those negative feelings to dissipate if you really want to develop a normal friendship with an ex.
The fastest way to damage a new friendship is to bring the past into the presence, so you should make sure that you are willing to leave the bad and sad stuff behind.
5. Avoid Pretending That Nothing Is Changed
One of the biggest mistakes of many people when it comes to learning how to be friends with an ex is that they act like nothing is happened after their friends. It could really hurt the feelings of the other person and that should not be something you should try to do. Acknowledge your breakup without dwelling on it.
6. Remove All Attraction
In order to learn how to be friends with an ex, you should have friendly feelings, not sexual feelings. This might be the hardest step to master as this individual is someone who you were once strongly attracted and connected to. To develop a true profound, you should remove all the attractions. This means you could not flirt, hold hands, cuddle, kiss, and get jealous.
7. Do Not Think About The Good Memories Of The Two Of You In The Past
It is a not good idea for you to think about the old memories, both good and sad after breaking up. Focus on the presence and nothing else. Give yourself the goals to try to gain them, such as telling you will declutter your house or finish that last chapter of the novel you wanted to read.
8. If You Want To Cry, Just Do It
Take several days for yourself to cry if you need to, without feeling embarrassed or judgment. Or, you can take a sick day from your work, skip university for a day. Grab a box of chocolate, tissues; hang out with a friend to relax. Do not hide your emotions and feelings. Crying is healing, and after several days of doing so, you will soon not want to cry anymore.
Check out: tips to get your ex back
9. Build New Relationships
You should have a new boyfriend or girlfriend after your breakup. And, when you built a new relationship with that new guy or gal, you should explain everything clearly to him or her. In fact, the situation after your breakup with your ex becomes rather complex. Even, the most understanding lover will likely be a little jealous at first. Some might never stop being jealous. Thus, the best thing you could do is to explain clearly and calmly that you have not been into your ex anymore. Explain to that new lover that you just love him/her and that you are looking for inconsequential, harmless fun with your ex – nothing more. Explain in the clearest way possible.
Your ex will also need prompting this conversation with his new lover if he also has one.
Avoid doing anything which might give your new lover any reason to suspect. For example, you should not stay out later than you said till he feels comfortable with your hanging around the ex.
There, you have learnt 9 easiest but most effective tips on how to be friends with an ex boyfriend or girlfriend. Have you ever tried out one or some of the above? Share your ideas with us by dropping words below the post. We will answer all as soon as possible.