Everybody knows that it‘s a devastating experience to be left by someone you really love, be it a break up or divorce. Is there really a sure fire way to make a clean and honest break? Read this list of tips on how to break up gracefully with someone made by VKool.com before you even think of uttering another breakup line or texting the bad news to your soon-to-be ex.
How To Break Up Gracefully With Someone – 14 Useful Tips
1. Define Exactly Your Emotions
You need to be sure that the decision of breaking up does not origin from sulks or your pride. If you defined that your love is expired and break up is good for both, then you can think of the next step.
2. Decision Making
People often hesitate about ending a relationship. You think you want to break up, but as soon as there is a distance, a bad luck or a new dating failure, you become panic and worry that you have made a mistake, and then want to get back together again . This can take months or even years, uninterrupted.
First and foremost, you need to decide that this is something you really want to do. “Determination” means an unchanged decision. You will break up when you tell yourself: “It is too enough! Never again! I will not allow another person to treat myself in such a disrespectful way like that.”
To make a lucid decision, you should make a list of the reasons why you want to break up and also write a possible solution beside it. Then, you go through that list and reflect whether or not you have done everything. By knowing the reasons for your break up, you will be able to answer the questions that your partner might ask, and cope with the break up yourself more easily.
3. Choose A Suitable Location
A brief farewell, a message, a phone call, or a saying in a hurry in front of the office will not be an appropriate way to break up gracefully.
In order to know how to break up gracefully, you should select an appropriate location, which is a quiet and comfortable space for the opponent to feel respected enough and easily receive the shocking decision that you are going to say. Sometimes women are afraid of saying goodbye face-to-face for the fear of weakness, the fear of be unable to say anything. Those too bustling, noisy places are not appropriate.
4. Know What And How To Say It – Be Prepared
As mentioned before in the previous tip on how to break up gracefully with someone, you had better be prepared for what you are about to say in advance.
Now, this tip goes deeply into the preparation. You must realize that your lover will be shocked. Even if the break up announced itself a long time ago for you, it will still come out of the blue for your partner. In this case, the “no contact” might help in softening this.
There could be a variety of reactions. Depending on your own partner’s personality, there could be crying, denial, begging, aggressiveness, and even abuse. Thus, you should stay calm whatever occurs. And, keep in mind that you should never let this end in a fight.
Here is a short guideline on how to behave upon delivering the message:
- You should always be understanding, regardless of your partner’s reactions
- Say to your partner that you are sorry that everything has not worked out
- Try looking at your list of reasons before you meet
- Avoid the intimate body contact
- Keep yourself confident. If you have not been dominant in the relationship, then you need to be it now
- Avoid being cold
Recommend reading: what men really want.
5. Direct Communication Face-To-Face
Important events need to communicate face to face. Do not send a farewell message or a steely and cold email. Do not screaming on your phone about saying such a curt ‘goodbye'. It is better for the two of you to speak frankly all your thoughts. Face-to-face communication is the richest and most abundant means because all senses are mobilized in the conversation. The meeting will help to dispel misconceptions.
Then, first and foremost in the conversation, you list the good qualities of your partner initially. Not because you need to enhance his or her egos, but to help him or her to have enough time to prepare in terms of psychology. Whether what comes after the “but”, that seems not too surprising to them (who may also want to break up). Becoming an abandoned is similar to accidentally drinking a cup of coffee with no sugar , no cream: slight shock, bitter and no sweet aftertaste at all (at least at the beginning).
Please answer any questions from your partner as gently and honestly as possible. You still are a strong man / woman though you have tears in the conversation.
And, depending on you, that you may or may not have sex with “just one last time”.
Check out: tips to move on after a break up.
6. Do Not Delay Breakup
Do it as soon as you decide. Waiting only makes it more difficult for both. If you are worrying that the opponent will give a negative reaction, carry out in public places. Arrange an appointment for the two of you. Do not come or go together.
7. No Farewell On Special Days
Saying goodbye on the birthday, anniversary day of the two of you, Valentine's Day or any other special day is too cruel. You do not have to ruin one's day in a long time, or even forever.
8. Make Him Or Her Understand Relationship Really Does Not Work
You should give him or her time to understand that the relationship of the two of you are having problems and need to be reconsidered in order to be able to continue or stop. When he or she wants to talk seriously about this problem, it is time to speak clearly to him or her that “the two of you can not continue to walk in one line.”
9. Present The Problem Clearly
During the conversation, you need to be interested in the other person's feelings, but do not let your heart soften. It is very easy to be misunderstood if you show compassion.You need to clarify the problem that you want to break up. Do not promise that you will contact, or remain as friends or encounter as normal. It just makes your partner have more illusory hope. If you still want to be friend with him or her, give your partner enough space to overcome the pain. Keep distance for some time.
10. Avoid Half-Hearted Implementation
Do not shy away by trying to show your partner that you are meeting someone else or by not answering the phone. This will only cause more pain for both. Just think like this: it will be less painful if you just pull out bandages instantly instead of pulling out slowly.
11. No Controversial Excuse
Upon receiving the farewell, some guys would not be able to calm down and will use any argument to make for their women come back. Therefore, absolutely these guys would always ask “Why?”. If your use too silly, generic or ambiguous reasons, you will easily be retorted by your partner.
Or, if you use hypersensitive excuse, you will make the guy angry.
In general, say simply that you want to breakup because you no longer love him or her anymore. ”
Check out: how to handle loneliness.
12. Do Not Let Friends Interfere
Do not talk to your friends, family or co-workers before you broke up if you are sure about your decision. After termination, reveal as little as possible. Although it is necessary to talk with friends and seek for support, remember that this is the problem of your own and that person.
13. Give Each Other Some Silence
When it comes to learning how to break up gracefully, giving each other enough silence to think and recover is important. Talk to the person who now becomes you ex that you will not be able to meet him or her later, but you will be ready to answer the phone or receive messages whenever he or she want to call to release every question or even rebuke and scream in the upcoming weeks.
If you are living with him or her, you need to give him or her a month to move out or find a new home. If one of the two of you can avoid going back home, things will be easier.
During the period of time of these bass notes, you should avoid dating around. Doing that is so not nice. You have been waiting for so long and then, now you can wait a couple more weeks, right?
14. Help Them With No Contact
The “no contact rule” is one of the most crucial premises for healing from a break up.
Yet, sometimes the urge to meet or call is so strong that many people could not resist.
You can help your ex with this: do not go to the places where you might meet. If they email or call you, keep the response short and non-personal. Never email, text message or call first, not even for asking how they are feeling.
Normally, the person who breaks up has to learn that it is definitely over as well.
These are top 14 sure fire tips and tricks on how to break up gracefully that everyone can make use of instantly. Saying a farewell to someone is always a sensitive issue, and knowing some tips about how to make it work is a good preparation for your peaceful breakup.
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