Jealousy is one of the biggest traps in relationships as well as daily life. That feeling is often associated with negative effects, which might drive your life to a wrong direction. If you are serious of learning to control your jealousy, then 16 tips on how to deal with jealousy and envy in a relationship below can help you out:
How To Deal With Jealousy And Envy In A Relationship – Top 16 Tips Revealed
1. Identify The Real Causes
In order to get over your jealousy, it is essential for you to find out the real causes of your own jealousy. Is it rooted in the comparison? Is it a scapegoat for some other deep-seated problem? Just ask yourself some questions that can help you understand where your jealousy originates from? Then, answer those questions with your all honest. Once you understand the reason of why you are jealous, then you will be able to address the problem.
2. Cope With The Fact
For instance, if you are jealous in your current dating relationship, to deal with your jealousy, you need to be confident in your own. Just understand that the man you are currently dating is with you as he cares about you and know that you are the best partner for him. Believing this is the key to success. It is better for you to spend less time on thinking about the worst and more time on foreseeing the positive future. Do not damage your relationship right within your mind. Fact is, if your insecurity is the real cause of the relationship doubt, then the next guy you can meet will not be any better. Try reconciling your negative feelings.
3. Focus On Your Own Strengths
The advice for your jealousy here is to spend more time on thinking what you do right than what you do wrong. Everyone has mistakes, of course. So, why do you keep constantly reminding yourself of them? Try to see difficulties as challenges, not problems. See things with positive views and look at the silver lining to avoid the feeling of jealousy. In fact, jealousy will thrive on negative feelings. Thus, just take the negativity out of your zone, and your jealousy will barely survive. Actually, you must be the best positioned person to know who you are, what you are doing properly. As a result, you will be the best person who can remind yourself of which is positive for you and about you. You had better not wait other people do it for you. If you do think of your fault, you should think of it in terms of what you could do to improve the condition and what you can learn from that experience. Do not dwell on negative thing about you as that is a waste of time and a trap to impact other feelings, like jealousy in this case.
4. Stop Comparing Yourself To Other People
Often, one of the major reasons why people meet trouble jealousy is that they continually compare themselves to others. Each person is different from others. If you understand this, you will recognize that comparison yourself with others is useless. You have things that other people do not have and vice versa. The combination of what you have and what you do not have is really unique. You may desire to have certain characteristic or feature like someone else. Normally, if you do know how to control it properly, it is a positive feeling that triggers your improvement. In other words, jealousy might trigger paralysis, and that is the difference you need to recognize. You could not be someone else; thus, stop comparing yourself with other. Instead, learn what you appreciate from others to improve yourself day by day.
5. Continually Remind Yourself Of The Outcomes
To learn how to deal with jealousy, you should remind yourself of the possible consequences. Eventually, jealousy just leads to a trail of disappointment and hurt. Thus, why you still allow yourself to feel that way if you know there will be nothing good for you if you keep being jealous? This is all about taking control of your mind. Though it is hard to take control of, it is still necessary for you to remind yourself of negative things that might result from showing off your negative emotions. Doing so not only lets yourself disappointed but also affects people around in a bad way. Thus, think about the outcomes when you start feeling jealous so you will control it easier.
6. Evaluate Your Life
Someone told me that his negative feelings, particularly jealousy, was entirely disappeared when he abolished bad eating habits and replaced with healthier ones. At first, I doubted a bit, yet after that, I realized it is so reasonable. Why? Take a look at your life and the way you live. Maybe the source of your jealousy comes from the fact that you do not have a proper, healthy diet plan, do not do physical activities enough, or create unhealthy hobbies. In reality, these can affect negatively not only your physical health but also your mental health as well. Thus, find and do activities which can make you happy and feel good in order to boost your mood, which in turn will help you see the life with a more positive view. Stop eating junk food or feeling sorry about yourself, instead, replace them with better, healthier ones. Then, you will stop feeling jealous.
7. Let Your Jealousy Turn Into Motivation
When it comes to learning how to deal with jealousy, instead of letting the feeling of jealousy eat you up, just think about what you could do to improve it. Do not fall into a trap of that negative feeling as it might drive you irrational and mad. Focus on a constructive manner for directing the energy you are showing off because of this jealous feeling into something you can get benefits from. Turn it into your motivation to help you become a better person than you are now. Make your jealousy work for you rather than let it destroy you. Think of your jealousy as a type of motivation which will stimulate you to change and improve in a better way.
8. Acknowledge The Work It Takes To Gain Success
Reminding yourself of your own achievements is a good way to keep the concentration on your unique. Your achievements did not occur overnight and they did not only land in your won lap. You planned and worked hard for them. Even, you had to take risks along the way. And, the same thing goes for those who you are jealous of. It is easier for you to control jealousy as you think about the attempt and work people have to put into their successes. By this way, you will keep that feeling under your control.
9. Find Alternative And Achievable Manners To Get More Satisfaction And Joy Into Your Life
For many people, jealousy comes from a void in one’s life – a common lack of fulfillment and joy. Maybe the things you are envious of is not so easy for you to get, yet there are certainly alternative ways to fill that void. The advice here is to create a list of things you could do and pursue instantly which can enrich your life. Creating that list will give you a sense of control your own life. Write down all the things you love about yourself and dislike as well. Work to address as many flaws as you could, and you will start feeling better about who you are. Of course, you have the power to create fulfillment and joy in your current life. You do not have to wait for it to occur. Set goals for yourself and reach them. However, just remember that you should start small. For instance, if you never run before, just train yourself to run a 5K without stopping to walk. Once you can succeed in this target, you will be proud of your capabilities and will try to set other bigger goals for yourself as well. You are exactly the one who are setting it in motion and knowing that is an actually wonderful feeling.
10. Realize No One’s Life Is Perfect
Every person has his own problems. People are all struggling with their own private. Sometimes, you might feel like someone “has it all”, yet you should understand that it is probably not the case. There is often much more going on behind the scene that what it appears on the surface. Now, take a deep breath and concentrate on relaxing all parts of your body. Imagine seeing yourself looking relaxed and calm, even disinterested in that kind of situation. This is a good way for you to let your mind get rid of the bad mood and raise your energy internally.
11. Be A Generous Person
The last but not least important tip on how to deal with jealousy is learning how to be a generous person. When you spend your time on helping other people, you can feel better about yourself and also appreciate of what you have that other people will be grateful for. To become a more generous person, initially, you should help the people you already know, especially those who are living around you. Do little but meaningful things for the ones you love. Understanding the hardships of other people will make you realize that everyone is battling in certain ways and that you are not the only person who wishes to improve your life. Or, if possible, you can volunteer in your local community.
12. Deal With The Green Eyed Monster
It is hard to smile and get calm while your partner is having fun time or flirting with another attractive person. It also makes sense to get jealous when your mate is dancing, hugging or kissing someone else. But be a wise person to get clear about the relationship between your partner and others. If this is a friendship, a business relationship and your partner does not go to far, you should not get jealous without reasons.
A way for you to adjust your partner’s relationships with others is to put yourself in their situation and you will understand why your partner can maintain these relationships.
13. Listen To Your Partner
If you and your partner have some misunderstandings in relationship, do not keep silence or have any negative action. If your partner is trying to say some explanations to you, pay attention to his or her words. You are not always right, and you should open your mind to listen and find the truth. It may belong to your limited perspective. So, think positive and give your partner a chance to express himself or herself, and get rid of jealousy and insecurity fast.
Recommended reading: Active Listening Techniques
14. Communicate & Understand
Listening is not enough. After listening to your partner, you should act to show your interaction about an explanation. If you think he or she is right, give your partner an apology. If you need to examine his or her words, ask for more details about his/ her relationships. Everything should be shown with honesty. After then, though you hate that truth, you should forgive your partner and accept it reasonably.
15. Get Clear About The Link Between Love And Jealousy
As you know, jealousy may be a sign of love. In this side, jealousy has a positive effect in building a romantic love and marriage; and you should not get ashamed of that. However, in some cases, jealousy is just the way a person wants to show his or her monitor to the partner. Some activities and revenges related to jealousy are unpredicted. As the victim suffers from your revenge, actually your partner also has to be responsible for your action and it has a big influence on your face and your partner’s, even your family. So be careful to have right thoughts and actions before getting jealous of someone in a relationship.
16. Learn To Be Relaxed
Though you are a cat in hot bricks, keep calm and try to relax. Everything will be solved. You need to be yourself first, then take action with your intelligence and conscious awareness.
At the time you are relaxed, you can think about the reason of your jealousy. You can ask yourself some questions about your partner’s behavior to you: is he or her right? Or you are wrong? Why does he or she behave like that? Then you can control your insecurity and solve this situation step by step. I think when you are relaxed to handle problems, nothing is impossible.
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