21 Tips On How To Overcome Sexual Performance Anxiety

In this article from VKool.com, we introduce basic information about sexual performance anxiety and how to overcome sexual performance anxiety effectively. You will learn what causes this condition and natural ways to reignite your own sex life.

I. How To Overcome Sexual Performance Anxiety – Main Causes 

how to overcome sexual performance anxiety

Sex is supposed to be a pleasurable experience, yet it is difficult to feel sexy or intimate with your partner if you have sexual performance anxiety. In fact, one of the greatest sexual as well as emotional obstacles for males recent days is performance anxiety. Those people with sexual performance anxiety constantly wonder “Am I doing it right?” or “Is her enjoying it?” and so on. Continual worry over your own appearance and performance in bed could make sex so stressful and also nerve-wracking. Even, it makes you want to avoid having sex.

In fact, sex is more than just a physical response. Really, arousal is strongly tied into the human emotions and feelings. When the mind of a person is too stressed out to concentrate on sex, his body will not be able to get excited either. There are a variety of causes that lead to sexual performance anxiety, which are:

  • The feat that you will not or could not perform well in bed as well as satisfy your partner in terms of sexual feelings
  • The difficulties available in your relationship
  • The problems of your body image, containing concern over your current weight
  • The worry of a man about his dick which will not “measure up”
  • The concern of a man about ejaculating prematurely or even taking too long in order to reach orgasm
  • The anxiety of a woman about not being able to reach an orgasm or enjoy sexual experience

Besides, there are also many other causes of performance anxiety, such as:

  • Societal pressure: In reality, societal pressure is considered as one of the most popular causes of performance anxiety. A lot of men worry that their own ability to satisfy a woman impacts how they are seen by other people, by the public; while women worry that men are about to judge them for their own abilities or body image. This kind of pressure is exacerbated by the manner that people are so public with their life in recent days, usually worsening societal pressure.
  • In experience: this will cause minor sexual dysfunctions, thereby leading to performance anxiety. For instance, premature ejaculation is rather common in those people who have very little or even no sexual experience. When it comes to sexual dysfunctions, the development of this can lead to the development of performance anxiety, thereby further worsening sexual problems.
  • Upsetting sexual encounters: actually, sex is strongly prone to associations and expectations. Hence, those couples, who have ever had an argument, fight, or felt so embarrassed for any problem in the bedroom due to a partner, will be more likely to suffer from anxiety in upcoming sexual situations. We all know that people are sensitive about their abilities, especially sexual abilities, body and many more; and the things which might disrupt that sensitivity could result in anxiety.

For those who experience these worries, they will automatically cause their body to release a response named “fight or flight”. In addition, the stress hormones such as norepinephrine and epinephrine are naturally launched in a lot of reactions which were really designed to prepare the human body to confront a threat. Obviously, your partner is not and will not a threat – that means this response is very counterproductive to the intimacy.

On the other hand, sexual performance anxiety is also a side effect of several anxiety medications; and the anxiety over sexual performance seems to be much more popular in those people who have never made love before, usually due to the pressure they put on themselves to perform.

Recommend reading: complete sex guide for couples

II. How To Overcome Sexual Performance Anxiety – Common Symptoms 

how to overcome sexual performance anxiety

In reality, the human state of mind could have a big impact on the ability of getting aroused. Even when you are with a person who you find really sexual appealing, worrying about whether you can please your partner might make it impossible for you to do that.

In males, it is said that one of the influences of stress hormones is constricting the blood vessels. The truth is, less blood flowing into the dick of a man could make it much more difficult for him to have an erection. Moreover, even for those men, who do not have any problem in getting excited could feel hard, even feel impossible to get an erection when they are suffering from sexual performance anxiety.

According to a prestigious study, sexual performance anxiety is often not diagnosed as often it occurs in men. Yet, it could still impact arousal in women. This could prevent a female from getting lubricated enough to enjoy sex, taking away the physical desire of making love.

Sexual performance anxiety could take both men and women out of the mind-set necessary to have sex. Once you are too focusing on whether or not you are performing well, you could not focus on what you are doing in bed with your partner, at the same time. And, a distracted lover is also an inattentive lover, making you feel like you even suffer more failures. Even when you can get aroused, you might be too distracted to gain orgasm.

What is more? Sexual performance anxiety also results in perpetual cycle and you will be sunk deeply into that vicious cycle.

* Discover How Jack Went From Lasting 10 Seconds To Over 30 Minutes in Bed

III. How To Overcome Sexual Performance Anxiety – 21 Useful And Practical Tips 

Oftentimes, for men, sexual anxiety comes from one of these three disorders: erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, and delayed ejaculation. This part will focus on giving tips for men (and some for women) to learn how to overcome sexual performance anxiety naturally. The way to get over sexual disorders is working with your partner, taking your own time, and stopping judging yourself harshly. Check 13 tips below to see more clearly!

1. Communicate 

communicate

When it comes to how to overcome sexual performance anxiety, you need to make use of communication to resolve your problem. Keeping you anxiety bottled up inside just makes it worse, not better.  When sleeping in bed with someone, you, as a man, had better trust her. She will become more understanding than you think. Talking about your problems, your fears, concerns and what you need to feel secure and safe with your partner. By communicating, you will open up the doors of comfort. Working together is the only manner to help you overcome performance anxiety, and you could not work together if you could not communicate. Being honest with your own and your partner as well is exactly the key in managing your problem.

2. Take Your Own Time 

how to overcome sexual performance anxiety

During intercourse, you should lengthen the foreplay to spice up your desire and your partner’s as well. Slowing things down is the key to overcome sexual disorders. You had better enjoy what you do and have a lot of foreplay. If you are getting trouble ejaculating prematurely, then have your partner give you short periods of oral sex, yet stop before you are going to reach orgasm.

In case you are suffering from erectile dysfunction, you should stop thinking that you need to be hard the whole time, remember that your tongue can still work. You can please her by your tongue and then work with your partner to get yourself off. Do not beat your own up if it does not occur every time.

3. Think Outside Of The Box Yet Still Focus On Pleasure 

how to overcome sexual performance anxiety

You need to put efforts into satisfying each other, yet stop being uncreative about it. Fact is, you know better than your partner does about what will really work for you and what will not. Make use of mutual masturbation whilst watching each other. That way, chances are, as a man, you could stop any of the three sexual problems when you are on the wheel.

* Discover How Jack Went From Lasting 10 Seconds To Over 30 Minutes in Bed

4. Practice 

how to overcome sexual performance anxiety

Those men with premature ejaculation should practice this in order to master their own point of no return. As you are alone, use a soft grip and lots of lube, you can bring your own up, and stop well before that point. Then, do it again while trying to come closer a little bit each times. Practice this daily for about 1 week and then bring your partner into the combination, first with her hands, then her mouth.

5. Take Advantage Of A Cock Ring 

how to overcome sexual performance anxiety

The cock rings will fit tightly around the base of your penis shaft. Hence, you can put the cock ring on whilst you are already hard, helping in constricting the blood flow and keeping it inside your dick and thereby keeping it hard. They could promote orgasm too. Some men even enjoy an extension to massage her clitoris during intercourse, and on some cases, it even vibrates. You can use this great sex toy to reignite your sex life and control sex disorders effectively.

Check out: how to increase your dick size

6. Enjoy A Drink But In Moderation 

enjoy a drink but in moderation

One or two glasses of wine can relax you and also help you stop worrying. The majority of performance worries exist in the head; and sometimes loosening up a little bit can bring amazing effects. Just enjoy a glass of wine to set such a perfect mood for the two of you.

However, you should remember to drink it with a moderated amount, so it will not take much to make your problem worse. Alcohols and drugs could also be rather negative contributing elements to sexual disorders.

* Discover How Jack Went From Lasting 10 Seconds To Over 30 Minutes in Bed

7. Go For Exercise 

how to overcome sexual performance anxiety - go for exercise

We all know that there are many benefits of exercise for the human health, in general, and sexual health, in particular. Staying in shape is considered as the key to healthy, strong sexual performance. In recent days, much of erectile dysfunction is the result of poor blood circulation. Thus, you had better move your body more to get your blood flowing and thereby enhance your sex life.

You can choose to practice breathing exercises because they could decrease anxiety, regulate your heart rate, and bring positive effects on your blood pressure, as well as muscle tension reduction. Of course, they could be outside and inside of your bedroom.

8. Eat Healthy

how to overcome sexual performance anxiety - eat healthy

It is no surprised that working towards more healthy eating habits, or sleep cycles will work wonders for your own body and anxiety levels as well. Therefore, you should plan a healthy diet so that you will take enough vitamins and nutrients for sex drive in such all-natural ways.  And, eating healthy is the minimum necessarily for healthy blood flow.

9. Healthy Lifestyle  how to overcome sexual performance anxiety - healthy lifestyle 

In order to get a strong sexual life, you need more than just exercise or diet. You need to avoid alcohol consumption and over-use of drug. Try to be proactive. Yoga could be a good form of exercise with extra benefits of breathing practice. Meditation could also be great for your breathing while positive visualization could help you improve confidence you need to stop your hang-ups.

* Discover How Jack Went From Lasting 10 Seconds To Over 30 Minutes in Bed

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