23 Ways to start a conversation with a girl, guy or a stranger

Updates: 07/11/2014

Have you ever decided to meet someone new, yet do not know how to make the first moves? Starting a conversation with someone, particularly stranger is one of the most difficult parts of communication. Yet, do not worry, there are some ways to start a conversation with a girl, guy or a stranger that you can make use of to break the ice. Follow below tips to know more.

23 Ways To Start A Conversation With A Girl, Guy Or A Stranger

1. Say “Hi” say “hi”

Sounds so obvious, right? But it is actually a big barrier for some to get started. You will have to break the ice and start a conversation, if you like that stranger. If he or she is friendly, it is a good sign for you to ask the person more questions.

2. Get Introduced – If Possible

Right! If possible, get introduced to let the stranger know who you are, why you are here and suggest him or her to talk about himself or herself.

3. If You Get Anxious, Get More Confident To Do It Anyway

Combat the fear of meeting or talking to a stranger to start a conversation more naturally. But how? Actually, there are no drugs for the fear. The cure comes from your strength. Imagine that you don’t need to be panic, or anxious. Just try to relax, speak clearly and naturally with a smile and the conversation will be started.

See: Social Anxiety Secrets

if you get anxious, get more confident to do it anyway

4. Have A Drink

If you need a more comfortable place to have a talk with a girl or a guy you like, invite him or her to have a drink. Any drink such as coffee, beer, wine, tea, smoothie, fruit juice can be an icebreaker that makes people close to people. Why don’t you try out this tip once? It will really work for you, I bet so.

have a drink

5. Collect Information About Him Or Her

If you like that person and want to know more information about him or her, you could ask her or tell about yourself first, then ask her to do the same. At least, if that person is open-minded and friendly, he or she will reveal some and you can continue more topics during the talk. However, make sure to make the conversation natural, don’t ask that person too many questions and try to make him or her feel comfortable and excited at your topic. If not, you should change another topic.

6. Imagine You And That Person Are Already Mutual Friends

You should practice this tip, it sounds awkward but it will really work for you. This way allows you to minimize the distance between you and that person. By using friendly words, give him or her smiles and eye contact, you absolutely can make that person closer to you.

7. Comment On A Topic comment on a topic

When talking, if you see that person is interested in a certain topic, you should comment on that topic. This is also a way to show your knowledge and impress him or her.

However, if you don’t have large knowledge of that topic, you should be honestly to tell that person the truth and change to a new topic to maintain the conversation.

8. Make Him Or Her Desire About Next Next…Talks

Of course, you should focus on the current conversation, but if possible, suggest him or her about the next meeting and the next talks. For instance, you and that person are talking about a coffee shop with classical music, but you can tell her about some other coffee shops with jazz music and invite her to visit that place next time. I bet that your partner will think about the next date in a new place you have been introduced or suggested.

make him or her desire about next next…talks

9. Tolerate Rejection

If he or she rejects you, keep in mind that it is not about you. It is about when and where they are. So do not take it and think about it personally. If that person passed up on the chance to meet or connect with you, then he or she would have missed out on some great things.

Recommended reading: How To Stay Happy In A Relationship

10. Ask The Other Person To Do Something Simple For You

ways to start a conversation with a girlThis is a fundamental one in many ways to start a conversation. It is more a manner to rapidly break the ice and allows you to follow up with something else if you wish. You can ask the other person questions, such as:

  • Do you have an extra smoke / a light?
  • Would you like to save my chair for me? I will just be right back for a moment?
  • Do you mind passing that beverage drown to me?

11. Preparation

If you are struggling with beginning conversations with someone or in some contexts, it is okay to equip yourself with conversation starters. By this way, you will have a tool for engaging people and you will feel comfortable to make a conversation.

Nevertheless, it is actually dangerous to become dependent on words and conversation starters. Besides, remember that good conversation starters reflect your authentic curiosity. They are not lines which you use robotically. Actually, they are changed to you and to the circumstance.

Discover: magic words in communicating and methods to master communication skills.

12. Make Eye Contact Before You Approach

If you want to talk with a new person in a public place, then before approaching him/ her, you should make an eye contact. By making your friendly intention clear, you will diffuse any possible tension which can arise. Just say something humorous and light. Start with an open-ended question enough to get a response.

13. Be Friendly

ways to start a conversation with a guy over textAt first, you should forget about making an impression with people right off the bat when starting out a conversation. Actually, you will have plenty of time to make impression with your charming, slick self. The basic rule of making a first conversation is to be friendly. You goal is not to make an impression; it is to show that you are a sociable, relaxed person who really wants to have an enjoyable conversation. That is the best manner to engage another person in a conversation.

Thus, rather than concentrating on coming up with clever conversation starters which will immediately woo the other person, try focusing on:

  • Smiling and holding an eye contact
  • Keeping relaxing breaths and relaxing the body
  • Maintaining good, non-threatening posture.

See: how to make acquaintance with someone.

14. Be Funny

Being funny does not mean that you need to do stand-up routine, yet just add some jokes to your conversation and tell the other person a funny story to break the ice. You might be surprised at how well funny stories can get other people to open up. Most of us love laughing and laughter can make us feel comfortable. This is a good way to lighten up such tense individuals and to encourage them to talk.

Just take advantage of your wit to make the other person pay attention. Then, show that you are comfortable with clever jokes, wordplay, and general banter.

If you know a killer funny story, just use it. It is better if that story is short. Do not tell a long story that you have not tried out before; otherwise you might fall flat on your own face.

15. Make The Other Person Feel That You Would Like To Care

You could turn a total stranger into a friend just by making him feel like you are really caring about his sayings and his opinions. If he thinks you are continually talking just to hear your voice, he will be turned off instantly. So, focus on that persona and maintain your eye contact without being too tensed. Importantly, give him personal space, and use his name once or twice after you get it.

16. Use Inviting Body Language

ways to start a conversation with a guyBody language could be natural, deliberate, incidental, yet in any case, it is usually the easiest language to read as well as understand. So, before saying anything verbally, you always have a chance to break the ice with your own body language for giving the other person the visual indication that you are really friendly and comfortable.

This type of body language contains something like not using closed arms, or the low rumble of a scowl. Try to modulate the tone of your voice that shows you are confident. Self-confident voice is far more inviting than talking rapidly as though in a nervous state.

Get to know ways to become a confident person to make conversation naturally.

17. Ask Good Questions

One of the most critical tools for engaging another person in a conversation is the curiosity. In fact, curiosity might best manifest itself in the manner you ask questions, which one of the most important people skills, in my opinion.

First and foremost, you will ask big, general questions which require more than the answer or “yes” or “no”. This also picture for the other person the circumstance to actually talk about themselves.

Secondly, the question asked by you should be authentic ad well reflect your real interests. Do not stick to the questions that the other person made as they exploited. You had better take a conversation somewhere by putting your own interests forward.

When it comes to asking questions, open-ended questions are recommended. Often, we hardly create great conversations started with “How are you?” as they are dead from that moment on. When asked that questions, most people will answer “Fine.” The reason of such dead conversations is so simple: they began on the wrong foot. People end to respond like a reflex towards that question. Therefore, in that case, you should ask a question that elicits a response longer than one or two words. The subject you ask will depend on the level of familiarity with the other person you are going to talk to.

18. Create A New Question From The Other Person’s Answer

ways to start a conversation over textAfter making an open-ended question and getting the answer, you now will keep that conversation going not by modifying the topic or asking follow-up questions. Instead, do so by rewarding their answers into new questions, even if you know that you do not really say anything new. That will allow you to encourage the other person to delve deeper into the subject.

19. Touch On Factors Of Rapport

While you are listening, try to recognize factors which you have in common with the other person. After that, mention that factor you have in common. This will give both of you a touchstone something that is a key part of the background of any relationship.

20. Use Their Last Few Words

This is a technique in communicating. Just simple repeat the last three or five words the other person said in such uncertain voice, as if you are asking a question. This can encourage that person to continue along of chain of thought, giving yourself further space to listen and find factors of rapport.

21. Look Outside Yourself

ways to start a conversation with a girl onlineOne of the best ways to start a conversation is to take the focus off yourself. Make the question, topic about the other person. If you see someone who would like to talk to, approach him and comment about something you think would be interest. Just be sincerely and start away from cheesy lines. Also, learn to recognize non-verbal cues from the other person.

22. Know What Not To Do

In reality, there are some manners to kill any flowing, good conversation before it can blossom. If you want to know what not to do on starting a conversation, then here are some common things you should not skip:

  • You should not reveal overly-personal information. You can save it for those people who really know you well.  
  • Do not ask the other person something that requires uncomfortable response. Let the other person talk about his significant career, health, or other subject.
  • Do not talk too much about yourself.
  • Listen and pay attention. Do not forget the other person’s basic information, such as name, job, or any critical information.

For successfully flirting with a girl or getting attention of a man, people can discover all right here.

23. Practice Often

Life constantly provides people with chances to practice conversation skills. So, strike up conversations with people you see, like you neighbor, the person on the bus, or in library. The more often you practice, the easier it will become. Keep in mind that practice makes perfect. Once you practice enough, at a certain point, you will turn that skill into your nature, without hesitation.

In order to maintain the flow of a conversation, you can refer useful tips here.

If you want to be a good communicator and be master in communicating, then read on and apply the above ways to start a conversation instantly. If so, you will get remarkable results that you might not imagine before.

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