As you know, anger is a normal emotion experienced by everyone. It is not necessarily bad. Anger plays an important function in our individual and collective lives because it motivates changes and propels us to action. Before someone can manage something, they need to understand it. This article is designed to help readers understand the attitudes and beliefs about anger. Also, people can learn 8 unique yet useful anger management techniques that allow them control their anger, in particular, and their life, in general effectively.
Anger Management Techniques – Control Your Emotions With Ease
I. Anger Management Techniques – Anger Triggers
The first step in learning to control your anger is to know when you are angry. This might be as easy as it sounds. It is not unusual for you as well as others to feel a certain feeling without realizing what they are feeling. There is a rapid way to determine whether you are angry or not is to scan your body. Ask yourself some following questions:
- Are your fists clenched?
- Are you frowning?
- Or, are your muscles tensed?
If the answer is yes, then you are angry. So, how to identify your anger triggers. All the base of all trigger thoughts is the notion that people are not behaving properly and that you have rights to be angry with them. There are different ways that our brains could be triggered. With individual, the triggers are different from person to person which is based on personal life experience. I general, trigger thoughts fall into two categories:
- The belief that you have been harmed, victimized, or ridiculed
- The belief that the others means to do you harm.
Popular triggers to anger can be various which are disrespect, violation of the personal space, injustice, abusive language, labeling, shaming, blaming, insults, misinformation, lying, relationship disputes, constant disappointment, lack of control, etc.
It is necessary for you to realize what the triggers are. This allows you to identify what problems in your life cause a high alert in the brain and send you over the edge.
II. Anger Management Techniques – 8 Top Tips
In order to defuse your anger before it gets out of control, you need to develop an anger plan listing out things you can do to calm yourself down or do anything that you feel relaxed. Here are some anger management techniques that you can learn to get your anger under the control.
1. Take A Timeout
Counting to 10 is not just for kids. Before reacting any tense situation, just take a few moments to breathe deeply and count to 10. This can help you defuse the temper. If possible, take a break from things, situation, or people that are causes of your anger until your frustration subsides a bit.
2. Accept The Anger
Just view the anger as a signal. This is not something to be escaped or something to be suppressed. It is something that you need to accept as a sign that some threat has occurred which need your attention.
You can make use of some simple relaxation tools which are deep breathing and relaxing imagery. Those methods help to soothe your angry feelings. The following steps are proven to be useful for controlling anger:
- Breathe not from your chest, but deeply from your diaphragm.
- Keep slowly repeating a calming phrase or word while breathing deeply, such as “take it easy” or “relax”. Or, you can practice positive self-talk. When you are ready, “discuss” the situation with yourself in a positive way. If you find something relating to self-talk that can really work for you, make it a mantra and repeat it to yourself in order to return to the right state of mind.Listen to music. This is a great strategy, but it depends on what you listen to. It sounds great if you can find a song that helps you feel good – like a great dance tune or a beach song
- Make use of imagery. Think of some images or experience that make you relaxed
- Try slow exercises. : Exercise is not just distracting; it is an excellent way to let off some energy without being destructive. You can do exercises such as running, weight training, yoga, cycling, basketball, martial arts, or swimming to reduce your anger emotions and relax your tense muscles. Also, it can release endorphins in your brain fast.
- Laugh: I know that it is rather hard to laugh while you feel mad at the same time. However, if you can figure out what makes you laugh such as jokes or fun movies and keep them in mind whenever you feel upset, it is a great way to deal with the anger.
Apply this advice daily whenever coping with frustration or tense situation; you will see great improvements in no time.
Want to know more tips for relaxation? You can check these books out: simple tips for music relaxation. Or, you can discover some tips for effective meditation and strategies to mediate properly to get more methods to feel relaxed when coping with anger.
4. Cognitive Restructuring
Cognitive habits are the hardest thing to break, but it could be done. Changing how you think of the anger or the situation causing your frustration is a good way to control your emotions. When something goes wrong, instead of telling yourself “Everything is damaged”, you can tell “this is frustration but it is not the end of the world.” Besides, give yourself a try of these following strategies:
- Avoid saying words like “always” and “never” when talking about others, or even yourself. Keeping this anger in mind just makes the anger is justified or there is no manner to deal with the problem.
- Concentrate on your goal. Do not go too “far” from the initial purpose because this just make you more frustrated and might make everything beyond your control.
- Transfer expectations into desires. Angry people usually demand things such as fairness, agreement, appreciation, or the willingness of doing in their own ways. Once we do not get what we like, we tend to be hurt, disappointed, and angry. Therefore, it is necessary for you to become aware of the nature and change your needs into requests.
Frustration and anger, sometimes, are the result of some inescapable issues in the life. Frustration could be a natural and healthy response to the troubles. If you can build for yourself the belief that each issue has its own solution, it is great. Nevertheless, not all problems have solutions, so you need to know how to face and deal with the anger.
Another way that can help you find the solution for you problem is talking to friends. Socializing could be a healthy and good way to cope with anger; yet, if you dwell on what made you frustrate, you can stir up your feelings rather than turn down the heat. You can look for some interesting subject to make you forget the issue, such as a concert that is coming up, or a film you just saw, etc.
If you want to develop your problem solving skills, check this article of ultimate problem solving techniques out.
When you are in the center of the heated discussion, then calm you down. Listen to the other person who is saying. Take time to think carefully before responding instead of saying the first thing coming into your mind. Watch what you say when getting angry. You do not always feel the same way as you have calmed down and thought of the situation. If you are criticized, listen to what is beneath the words before fighting back. It might take patient questioning, yet do not let anger spin things out of your control.
The sense of humor can help you defuse anger in some ways. It allows you to be more balanced perspective. On the other hand, it also helps you find when you find yourself being unreasonable. But, do not try to laugh off your issues or use sarcastic humor. Rather, just make use of humor to face with the troubles constructively.
8. Environment Change
Sometimes, the environment is a cause of angry feelings. Responsibilities and problems can weigh on you and make you feel angry at the trap you may be fallen into. Thus, you need to find alternatives which can ease your frustration. Here are some tips that can you can take advantage:
- Consider the timing. This means, if you and your partner tend to fight at morning or at night, you should try changing the times that you talk about important matters so the talk will not turn into arguments.
- Take a break. It is important for you to schedule your timetable properly in order to avoid making yourself more stressed. Set for you a certain rule and with this rule, you will feel better to deal with demands from your work, kids, or relationships. While taking a break, you can meditate to help you stay calm. Meditation is a helpful way to release stress and / or anxiety, the precursors to rage.
- Avoid things that you can. If you realize that you are going to angry or become violent, then walk away immediately to avoid making it real.
So, these are some ultimate anger management techniques that used successfully by many people all over the world. Hope that you have learned something new! Well, learning anger management techniques might require much effort and patience, and keeping it simple and innocent is the key to make it successful.
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