How to overcome shyness and social anxiety – 9 tips

how to overcome shyness

Could you remember the last time you stepped into such a room full of strangers and felt that self-conscious and awkward feeling rush over you? Regardless of whether you are an extraverted or introverted, we could all relate to such feeling of social anxiety and shyness at some point of our lives. To help you know how to overcome shyness and social anxiety easily, this article from VKool.com will show you some useful ways that many people used to successfully turn their shyness into personal empowerment.

I. How To Overcome Shyness – Components And Causes Of Shyness

how to overcome shyness

Before you discover top effective ways on how to overcome shyness, you had better acknowledge the three components of shyness, which are:

  • Excessive self-consciousness: you are overly aware of yourself, especially in social situations
  • Excessive negative self-evaluation: you might see yourself negatively.
  • Excessive negative self-preoccupation: you might pay attention to everything you are doing wrong in such an extreme way when you are around others

People experience shyness and social anxiety on various degrees. Shyness has multiple causes. Nevertheless, except for possible genetic factors, it might be said that shyness is the result of a process. There are some common causes of shyness, which are the followings:

1. Biological Factors

how to overcome shyness

These are the differences in our natural characteristics – the way we born. People differ in their speed of “reactivity”, and a greater reactivity speed means you notice physiological changes, like increases heart rate, sooner. This is like a type of sensitivity, and might be seen as a tendency to over-react to situations. We know that anxiety could run in families, and this suggests that there is a gene playing a role. Besides, people have various temperaments or personalities, which impact the degree to which they are distressed easily.

2. Weak Self-Image

how to overcome shyness

This is particularly true to our experience in high school. We would think and believe that our unique qualities were not interesting, cool or worthy of anyone’s admiration. We also tried to fit in with other people, causing in us not feeling like ourselves.

If you are looking for other solutions to overcome shyness and social anxiety, you should read the Overcome Social Anxiety & Shyness book.

3. Pre-Occupation With Self

how to overcome shyness

This is when you are around other people, you become strongly sensitive to what you are doing, as if you have been put on the center stage. And, this creates social anxiety, and makes you question your every move. Your focus centers around yourself and especially on “What I was doing wrong”. This could result in a downward spiral.

4. Labeling

how to overcome shyness

When people label themselves as shy ones, they psychologically feel inclined to live up to those expectations. In fact, when you label something, that thing has the perfection of being fixed and thus you must live up to the expectations of the labeling.

II. How To Overcome Shyness – 9 Useful Tips 

1. Understand Your Shyness 

how to overcome shyness

Seek to understand your unique brand shyness and how that manifests in your own life. By understanding what situation will trigger that feeling, you will be able to take control of your emotions more effectively.

If you are looking for other solutions to overcome shyness and social anxiety, you should read the Overcome Social Anxiety & Shyness book.

2. Turning Your Self-Consciousness Into Self Awareness

how to overcome shyness

Realize that the world is not looking at you. Moreover, most people are too busy with their work of looking at themselves. Rather than watching yourself as if you are other people, you should bring your awareness inwards. Armed with understanding of what makes you shy, seek within yourself and become the observing presence of your own thoughts. In reality, self awareness is the first step towards any life improvement.

Recommend reading: how to become a successful person

3. Find Your Strengths 

how to overcome shyness

All of us have unique qualities that other do not have. Also, we have different ways of expressing ourselves. It is crucial to know and fully accept the things that we can do well, even if they differ from the normal norm. And, if there is anyone who was the same, this world will become boring.

Therefore, it is better for you to find something that you are really good at and concentrate on doing it. That way, you will be able to improve your self esteem as well as your ego, helping you better identify with yourself. It is really a short-term fix, yet will offer you the confidence necessary to break your self-imposed barrier of fear.

Then, see how your special strength provides you with an advantage. For instance, if you are a quiet person who loves to spend time alone, then you should learn that you listen better than other people and notice the thing that other people might miss in conversations. Also, you can learn to discover that your alone time has given you a better understanding of yourself.

4. Like Yourself 

how to overcome shyness

In order to know how to overcome shyness, you should learn to like yourself at first. Practice appreciating yourself and like the unique expression that is you. Or, you can do the things that you love, write a love letter to yourself, and give gratitude for your own body as well as its effortless functions, spend your quality time on getting to know yourself.

If you are looking for other solutions to overcome shyness and social anxiety, you should read the Overcome Social Anxiety & Shyness book.

5. Focus On Others

how to overcome shyness

Instead of concentrating on your awkwardness in social situations, you had better focus on other people and their sayings. Be interested in other people will help you forget about centering yourself in negative thoughts and self consciousness. You could try to ponder the question whilst interacting: what is about that person?

Check out: tips for positive thoughts

6. Practice Deep Breathing Techniques To Release Anxiety 

how to overcome shyness

Anxiety as well as fear could feel overwhelming if you are more assertive to overcome this fear.

Thus, a simple technique to calm your anxiety into such manageable bites is to take deep breaths with your eyes closed, whilst focusing on your breaths. You should inhale and exhale slowly whilst removing all negative thoughts.

Or, you can take advantage of yoga to calm your mind as well as self consciousness. Slowly level out both of your inhale and exhale duration. For instance, 4 count for inhaling in and the same for exhaling out. Slow down your exhale. Continue for several minutes till you feel comfortable. You could do this exercise in your bathroom or in any spare room where you want.

7. Practice Some Movements To Release Anxiety

how to overcome shyness

When it comes to learning tips on how to overcome shyness, one way is to release the energy which is blocked by the anxiety and shyness. You could release that energy via some physical movements:

  • Walking or jogging will help you re-channel some of your blocked energies, yet also help in pulling you out of the situation, and improve your state of mind. This fresh state of mind will add perspective to many things around you.
  • Or, you can practice another simple yet effective exercise for mind – meditation. Lie down or sit down, then bring awareness to all parts of your body, beginning from the toes, move up your body to the top of your head. At each part of your body, you tighten the muscles at the core of awareness for about 3-5 seconds before relaxing. Repeat this routine till you get the best state of mind. However, maintain your breaths evenly.

If you are looking for other solutions to overcome shyness and social anxiety, you should read the Overcome Social Anxiety & Shyness book.

8. Practice Visualization 

how to overcome shyness

Visualizing yourself as a happy and confident person – that can help you shape your perception when facing with a real situation. To practice visualization, you need to close your eyes, let your body and mind relax by listening to some music, or imagining you are in a situation or scene that you want to be in. Then, ask yourself that in this field, how do you feel? What do you hear? Do you smell anything? Let all of your senses involve in the situation you are visualizing.

9. Accept Rejection

how to overcome shyness

This is one of the hardest tips that you need to practice steadily. Accept the possibility that you could be rejected and learn to not take it personally. Keep in mind that, you are not alone and other people all experience rejections, at some point of their lives. The key here is how you deal with rejections when they appear. If you prepare both mentally and physically well, you will soon see the effects:

  • Do not take the rejection personally. Remember that it was not your mistake. It just means the scenario was not the best fit for you.
  • Learn from it – after being rejected, what is your lesson? The lesson you learn after that situation will help you become a better, stronger new you. Nothing is lost when you could find the lesson from different situations.
  • Move on. Realize that when falling into self-consciousness and self-pity, you are not moving forwards. And, even when you feel that self-pity, nothing can be changed, not mentioned to that the better situation will never happen just due to your self-pity. It becomes clear that your energy is wasted whilst you fee to your problem-seeking ego. Hence, simply pick yourself up, and move on. If you could not do it at the first time, try again and gain. It will be worth your try!

Above are some basic information of what you need to know about shyness and social anxiety and lifestyle tips on how to overcome shyness and social anxiety. Hopefully, you have learned something new and helpful for your own case. Share your thoughts with us by dropping a few words below this post. We will feedback soon.

If you are looking for other solutions to overcome shyness and social anxiety, you should read the Overcome Social Anxiety & Shyness book.

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