How To Win Back Your Ex Boyfriend Or Girlfriend’s Heart

how to win back your ex

There is not a lot of worse things in life than having to handle a breakup from someone you really love. These feelings of confusion and hurt could be overwhelming and debilitating at times. However, there is a good news that you will not have to suffer from that feeling anymore as you will be able to get your ex back even after years of breakup.

Take a look at the following tips on how to win back your ex fast that VKool has collected from a lot of relationship experts!

How To Win Back Your Ex Boyfriend Or Girlfriend’s Heart – Tips To Reunite With Your Ex

how to win back your ex

1. Look For The Causes Of Your Breakup

The first step on how to win back your ex is to consider why you two broke up in the first place. Ask yourself the following questions:

  • Do you want to get him/her back just because you could not accept the reality that he/she does not want you anymore?
  • Maybe you cannot accept the idea of being along and having no one to love?
  • Do you really like him/her?
  • Did you or both of you cheat?

If the answer of each question is yes or things above happen, then you will want to think hard and long about getting back that type of relationship.

Taking time on thinking about what went wrong and why he/she dumped you in the first place will help you find out your real want. Of course, you could go on thinking that something simply changed him/her; however, most likely he/she had been dropping hints near the end of your relationship as to what he/she needs from you and what he/she wants to change.

2. Focus On What You Want

Before planning steps on how to win back your ex boyfriend or girlfriend’s heart, take time to focus on you. You are being single and just enjoy it. Take time to live your life free of compromise and really evaluate who you are and what you want.

Get a new you, change your style, go to the gym, hang out with your friends, make new friends, pick up a new hobby that you want to try out. By doing these things, you are re-building your self-worth and get that spring back in your own step.

If after about 2 weeks of enjoying your life alone, you still want to reunite with your ex, then move on to the next step.

3. Figure Out Whether He Is Single Or Not

figure out whether he is single or not

If he/she does not let his relationship status online, just check out his/her Facebook photos to see whether the same man or woman reappears in many cozy poses with him/her. Or, you could subtly find out it by asking or sending messages or emails him about the old friends you both had, then subtly segue into such conversation about his personal life in general. If so, you might know his/her new love.

4. Be The Person Your Ex Fell In Love With

be the person your ex fell in love with

Your ex is attracted to you as he / she felt good with you, and you were fulfilling his / her emotional needs. Now, look at you. How have you changed? If you are not being the one who he/she is used to fall in love with, just because any reason, you need to get back that one. Correct your bad habits as well as pitfalls, if any. Be positive around your ex. Smile and laugh. Stay positive, feel good about yourself, & make friends around you feel good due to you.

Do not let your ex know that you are stuck in the past. Let him/her know that you are moving on by going to the gym, your locker, wearing clothes different from what you used to wear. This will make your ex think you are moving on with your own life, without his / her image. In other words, this will make you feel more confident and relax yourself after a difficult time of breaking up.

5. Prepare Your Initial Words

prepare your initial words

After reviewing your relationship, the next step on how to win back your ex after years of breakup is to prepare the first words to say to your ex. If you say wrong words, then you will lose the opportunity to get him/her back. Do not react to your ex’s request begging him/her to come back. This really does not work. You need to know that even he/she requests the breakup, there is a good opportunity that he/she still harbors good feelings for you.

Read more: conversation tips for couples

6. Make Use Of The Past As Your Own Advantage

If your ex complemented a particular outfit, simply wear it again. Share a lighthearted memory with your ex. In case you have an opportunity to meet your ex, then do it in a familiar place that you two used to enjoy good time together.

7. Listen To His / Her Choice Of Words

listen to his her choice of words

Your ex might say something unusual. If he ever uses an uncommon or unusual word, use it in your own conversations. This subconsciously tells your ex that he/she and you have a common manner of talking

Besides, listening to your ex’s words also allows you to assess if he or she still cares about you. If he/she no longer cares and you still try getting him/her back, then you need to think of how to make him care again, even a little. Acknowledge that your ex might still care about you is considered as the most critical sign that things could still be controlled. Do not start anything before you are really sure about this.

See more: tips to become a good listener

8. Let Your Ex Know You Have Been Thinking About Him / Her

Remind your ex of the times that two of you have dinner together at the restaurant and really had a great time. Leave him/her an email telling him/her that you went there recently and still thought of him/her. Then, ask him/her how he / she is doing. Actually, this is a subtle way to have a conversation which will not make your ex uncomfortable.

9. Stop Caring About How Others Perceive You

stop caring about how others perceive you

Fact is, it does not matter how people perceive you. Remove the thoughts that: “Do people think I am so funny and stupid? Does he/she think I am fat? Just be yourself, you have to eliminate these concerns and let your natural behavior flow, with your own consideration of other people’s ideas as a filter.

10. If You Have Just Broken Up For Several Weeks, Completely Ignore Your Ex

Your ex will call you if he / she still loves you. If he/she does not, then nothing you say or do can change the situation. Sometimes, ignoring your ex will make him / her fell that you are totally fine without him / her. However, make sure that you know what kind of man / woman that you are handling with as trying to get him/her back.

11. Start Talking To Another Man / Woman

start talking to another man woman

Do not do anything with her, yet strike up a friendship. You want to raise your own stock by showing him/her that other man/woman love you as well as attracted to you.

However, do not get this tip confused by pursuing another man/woman. You want to hang out and do fun things together, yet not hook up. Once you hook up with another man, your opportunity of getting back your ex will be diminished.

If you are a man, then the situation could be hanging out with a group of woman. Show your ex that attentive women love being around you. These women will become your wing-women. So, if you could pull together a large group of smart, popular, and intelligent woman, chances will be your ex will feel much more interested, or might be without even caring about it.

12. Ex-sex


Once you two meet each other a couple of times, then the physical attraction will creep its way back. However, if you are a woman, remember that do not have sex with him straight away as men like the chase. The more you make him wait, the more he will want you. At the same time, you should not use sex to get him back. There is really a fine line between manipulation and persuasion and manipulation will not allow you to go in the long term. What you should do is to wait until the two of you have built that this is not just going to have sex, that two of you are going to try to make things work and then you can give him the best sex of his life.

Wait till the two of you have established that this is not going to be just sex, that the two of you are genuinely going to try and work things out and then give him the best sex of his life!

Related content: great sex tips

Leave your words below if you are interested in this “How To Win Back Your ExBoyfriend Or Girlfriend’s Heart” article and want to contribute your own relationship tips on this topic to VKool. We appreciate your contribution and will respond all soon.

Want More Content Like This In Your Inbox?

Join The Discussion


Advertising Disclosure

Displayed content is offered by businesses which have been compensated. There is a potential effect on how, what, and where products may appear. All effort is made into providing full transparency, not all available products or companies are highlighted. Published material is offered without any slant or bias no matter what affiliation there is with sponsorship or association.